I talk a lot on this blog about how much I love living in New York City. But today I'm going to tell you a little story about how living here can sometimes be totally disgusting...
(This is my fabulous MS Paint rendering of "The Incident Of The Flying Rat". )
Picture this...a crowded rush hour platform one car length from the end of the train. Screaming comes from 20- 30 people deep. In my post work haze I blow it off as stupid teenage fighting and resume reading my nerdy book. Three seconds later, more screaming and scuffling as everyone stares at their feet. I now KNOW what is coming down that platform...
A giant nasty NYC subway rat.
I see it fly past about a foot from my open toe sandals. I turn to watch it run away and breath a sigh of relief that I escaped unscathed. But then...
Ten feet down the platform the rat encounters a really angry man in a brown business suit who then proceeds TO PUNT THE RAT AT MY FACE! (This the part where you gasp and freak out. )
I duck back and with less than a fraction of an inch to spare, the flying rat collides with the purse of the woman standing next to me! I proceed to run screaming and pushing up the stairs towards safety.
To add insult to injury, some nasty lady yells at me to "save it for the terrorists" and "not push into her over a mouse". For the first time since moving to the Big Rat Apple, I spoke back to someone. I told that bitch straightaway, "Fuck off. You'd run too if a rat came flying at YOUR face!"
In any case, if you didn't have a rat fly at your head on your commute home this week, feel better about wherever you choose to live, as this is certainly a grass is greener scenario.
I dedicate this post to my good friend Kristen, who hates rats more than anyone I know, and was the first person I called when I got off the train.